The Neverland Secret
by JesterNeNe
Summary: Regina has been carrying a secret with her for years. Will Hook forgive her? Will it hurt them both? Is it something she can fix? All will tell in due time as they struggle with the consequences. HOOKED QUEEN. Rated M for Language and Suggestions.
1. Chapter 1: Reveal

**Chapter 1: Reveal**

With each breathe she took, Regina's nose twitched by the salty sea air. She remembered that smell, almost as it was just yesterday she had left this land. It wasn't a normal smell of the ocean, it had a spice to it; where it burned and didn't feel right. Neverland was not a place that left you wanting more of it; it was a place you never wanted to return too. She wrapped her arms across her chest as tight as she could to keep warm. Not able to sleep because so much was running through her mind._ Is Henry alright? Should I even trust these people? Will my past come back to get me?_ It was something she didn't want to think about but couldn't help it. Especially a secret she had buried long ago.

"Enjoying the view, my dear?" Hook smiled as he approached her gently. It snapped Regina out of her thoughts and she just smiled back.

"As much as I know this place isn't paradise — Its hard to not take in its beauty" Regina answered.

"Looks can be deceiving, can't they?" Hook sighed, crossing his arms and leaning by the edge of the ship.

"You have no idea" Regina sighed. Hook sensed her answer was more than it seemed but wasn't sure if he should press the matter. '_Maybe she is just worried about her son?'_ he thought. The _Evil Queen_ was still human after all and her son was out missing in a horrible place. It would be normal for her to act a bit strange. Hook kept quiet and looked back out into the sea. The quietness was making Regina uneasy and felt the urge to just be alone.

"I think I'm gonna try and get some sleep" Regina said before walking towards the stairs.

"Regina, Wait" Hook said to stop Regina in her tracks. She looked at him and waited to see what he wanted. "Just know, your secret is safe" He slightly smiled.

"You mean ours?" Regina smiled back at him. "Good night Hook" as she shook her head and walked down stairs. Hook's smile grew bigger as memories began to flood his mind. Good memories and bad ones as well.

* * *

Regina's dark brown eyes adjusted to the pitch black that surrounded her. She still couldn't sleep and started to feel sick to her stomach. _'Why do I feel guilty now?'_ she thought. It had been years and even though it crossed her mind before, it never felt so heavy as it did now. She didn't know if she should tell Hook the truth, or just pretend it never happened. Though losing her son is what made this secret so heavy to bare. '_Am I being punished?'_ she thought to herself again. She shook her head hard to try and get the thought out of her head, but knew she was really in trouble when a single tear fell down her face. Whether this was going to be the biggest mistake of her life, she had to tell him and she had to tell him now. She darted up from her cot and headed across the room to a side door that lead to his bed chamber. Even though their were ladies on board, the chamber was only reserved for the Captain and whoever he had invited in. She knocked gently before entering. She could see Hook turn over and slowly awake. He rubbed his eyes to adjust to the little bit of moon light that was in the room.

"Regina?" he asked confused. "What the hell, it's late"

"Ya well, this couldn't wait" She replied. "We need to talk"

"Now?" Hook asked frustrated.

"Yes, _Now_" she replied with frustration as well.

"Alright" Hook throws his arms up and turns on an oil lamp. "What is the meaning of this?"

Regina creep close to his bed and sat at the very end of it. Hook wasn't sure what she was doing or what it implied, but his heart grew to beat a tad faster as she approached. They may have had their differences but Hook always thought of Regina as such a beautiful creature.

"I know we have a past we don't like to discuss much about. Especially on how it ended between us" Regina began to explain… Hook just nodded. "But there is more to our story that — um — you don't know about" Regina took in a deep breathe.

"O…k" Hook said slowly and with confusion."What are you implying?"

"That night we had that big fight and I returned home. Well… I didn't return alone" Regina cryptically said.

Hook just raised his famous brow, not fully understanding what she meant. Regina than realized this was going to be much tougher than she thought. Either she just told him flat out what she did or just end the conversation right there. She decided quickly to no longer hold that burden.

"Hook — I was pregnant when I left Neverland" she blurted out. "And I thought you should know"

Hook couldn't believe what he just heard. He didn't know if to get angry at her, to scream out loud or to just kiss her. Feelings between them never left even though it was very complicated. "You had a kid? — my kid?" He stuttered.

"Yes. A girl" she sighed, feeling the guilt rush over her again. The _Evil Queen_ feeling guilty was hard to do, but no one should ever not know their children.

"Why — uh — Why didn't you tell me — about her?" Hook asked calmly, even though inside he felt sick to his stomach.

"I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. You were here and I went back home. It's not like coming to Neverland is an easy task." She stopped for a moment to catch up with her thoughts. "When I saw you in Belle's room — I was surprised you made it back but I couldn't tell you. Not than"

"Why? Because you needed me to be a pawn in killing your mother?" Hook said angrily. _Finally_. He than removed the sheets from his body and darted out of bed; he began to pace the room. His good hand just ran through his hair as if he was trying to think about what to say or do.

"Hook — you need to understand…" Regina began to speak before Hook interrupted her.

"Understand? Really dear? You are telling me to understand when you kept my child away from me all these years?!" He raised his tone. Regina shot up from the bed and hushed him.

"Would you keep your voice down. I get your angry and you have every right but I kind of don't want the tweedle dees and dumb asses waking up in the next room and hearing our private conversation" Regina explained in a whisper.

"Oh well sorry my dear Queen. I shall be very respectful for your privacy as you don't give _shit_ about mine" Hook then walked towards her, putting his face only mere inches away from hers and looking straight into her eyes. "You have no right to ask me anything. Especially after what you've done"

He than moved back and walked passed her. Regina sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, not knowing what to say at that point. Hook hated the silence and needed to break it.

"Where is she?" Hooked asked simply. Regina turned around with glassy eyes. Hook saw the pain her eyes and knew it couldn't have been a good answer.

"I don't know" Regina replied.

"What do you mean you don't know?!" Hook raised his tone again. Regina almost shushed him again but realized the second time may not go well.

"I gave her away" Regina said simple and to the point. Hook just started to laugh. He couldn't believe just how ridiculous everything sounded. His anger began to make him turn mad. He walked passed her again and just began to slice his hook into the wall. Punch after punch, stab after stab; he hit it harder and faster each time. He let out his anger and frustration of not understanding. Sadly, this was the straw that broke the camels back as Emma walked through the door quickly, wondering what the commotion was all about.

"What the hell is going on here?!" She asked.

"Ah, Miss Swan. Please, ask our dear Queen on what is going on here. I'm sure she would love to tell you this fine tale" Hook said sarcastically before he pulled his hook out of the wall and walked up on deck. Regina sighed and looked down before looking at Emma.

"Are you gonna tell me what just happened?"

"No — because its none of your business" Regina replied.

"Well whether it's my business or not, I suggest you fix or deal with whatever you two are doing, and do it now" Emma said with sheer power. Regina chuckled at a bit at Emma's attempt to intimidate her.

"And if I don't?" Regina asked.

"Hell might need to be paid if you don't Regina. If this little spat turns into something that could hurt Henry or even slow us down in finding him, than you do _not_ want to mess with me. We are suppose to be working together to find our son and we don't need this right now" Emma explained. Regina's smug smile disappeared quickly as Emma discussed Henry. '_She's right'_ She thought; this secret she carried not only was hurting Hook but it could hurt Henry. She needed Hook to understand on just why things happened the way they did.

"Ok — I'll take care of it" Regina said.

"Good. Than I shall go back in my room and try and sleep. Don't mess it up" Emma warned. She turned her back to see three bodies standing in the door way listening in. "Parties over. Back to bed everyone" Emma shewed David, Mary Margarete and Gold back in the room before shutting the door. Regina took in a deep breathe before walking up on deck.

She saw Hook leaning over the bough and staring blankly out to sea. She needed to find the right words to say to have him listen before he doesn't not want to anymore. She walked closer and just blurted it out.

"I couldn't be a mother to our daughter" Regina said, causing Hook to turn and look at her. "I didn't know how to be one since I really didn't have a good role model. It wouldn't have been fair to her"

"and yet you go and find a kid to raise?" Hook rudely asked about her relationship with Henry.

"I was older and circumstances changed. But as you can see I wasn't the best mother to him either — I tried but I still _failed_" Regina looked down. Hook swallowed hard feeling some sympathy towards her. In just those five minutes he had alone, it was enough time for him to calm down and really listen to her. Not that he thought what she did was right, but knowing maybe she just didn't have a choice.

"You didn't fail Regina" he rubbed his good hand across his forehead. "It just proves how good of a mother you are or you wouldn't be here back in Neverland" Hook commented. Regina was shocked by his kind words and didn't know what to say.

"Thank you — I think"

"Don't except that as forgiveness. What you did was reprehensible. I get it that you didn't think you had much choice but — you should have at least told me instead of waiting until now" Hook explained how he felt.

"I'm sorry Hook. I really am"

Hook didn't want an apology. He didn't even want an explanation; at this point all that mattered was wondering where his own child in this world might be.

"Do you know where she is? How old is she? her name?"

"No. She would be around 6 years old but — with the curse, I don't know if she landed in Storybrooke or was stuck in the Enchanted Forest. I didn't get the chance to name her nor do I know what she was given" Regina explained.

"How long did you have her before you decided to give her away?" Hook's tone was dark but to be expected.

"I held her for about 5 minutes just after she was born. Than they took her. I haven't seen her since" Regina's voice cracked a bit thinking about that moment. "It wasn't easy Hook — but I knew, she would stand a much better outcome in life if she wasn't stuck with me" Regina than began to cry by the end of her sentence.

Hook didn't see the _Evil Queen_ anymore, he saw a broken woman that didn't think she had any other choice in doing right for her child. He walked to her and quickly just wrapped his arms around her. The moment of the embrace was shocking to Regina but was something she needed. She held this secret with her for so many years and now the child she did get to raise was missing; It was too much to bare.

Regina began to cry harder as Hook just held her close. The pain of losing children is something that no one should feel. Hook let go of Regina and placed his good hand on her cheek and his hooked hand closer to her ear, barely touching her. Regina slowly began to calm down. Just than, before she even realized what was happening, he kissed her. First gentle and slow, Lips barely touching; Then it became more fierce. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer to him by wrapping his hooked arm around her waist. They hadn't felt that kind of passion since the last time they were in Neverland together. Where their secrets and pain were created. As Hook released Regina from their passionate moment, he looked deep into her eyes.

"We are going to find your son. And then we are going to find our daughter" Hook said with reassurance. Regina just nodded as a tear fell down her cheek. They began to kiss again, walking towards his bed chambers and shutting the door behind them.

* * *

**So here is a story i have written. Just a few chaps in but let me know what you think...**


	2. Chapter 2: Can we do this?

**Thanks for all the love and comments. I appreciate it. Thought I would post Chapter 2 tonight after what happened on OUAT. Even though I don't see Robin Hood endgame, it still sucked lol. Anyways, enjoy this... each chapter will have some gabs but nothing too bad i hope.**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Can we do this?**

Regina stood in front of her mirror before she felt an arm wrap around her stomach. She sighed as she felt Hook lean in close and placed his chin on her shoulder.

"You ready love?" he asked.

"Are we really going to do this?" She sighed.

"I know it's something we don't want to do but to find our daughter — I will do anything" Hook explained, before placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. Regina turned around and looked at him with worried eyes "What's wrong?"

"Just scared. I never thought I would see her again. And what if Henry doesn't accept her?" Regina babbled on. The captain placed his hook right under Regina's chin to lightly lift her head up.

"You have nothing to worry about, my dear. Henry is back with his family and he is going to love his sister" Hook reassured her.

"Thanks to you" Regina smiled. She than wrapped both arms around the pirate's neck. "Did I ever tell you how thankful I am for what you did?"

"Well last night was a good reminder but I don't mind having another one" he grinned devilishly. Regina chuckled a bit before she got serious again with her words.

"No I mean it. If you didn't risk your life for Henry — we may not have gotten him back. No amount of thanks will ever be enough" Regina slightly kissed his lips which caused Hook to smile.

"No need, love. I didn't just do it for him — I did it for you too. Knowing we have a child together — a connection. Made me realize those feelings I buried long ago were still there. I had to do it — no matter the cost"

Regina fell more in love with this man than she ever had before. No one ever cared for her like that — not since Daniel. It was a feeling she never thought she would feel again but it's a moment where she knew that she finally belonged. "We're a family" she said with her eyes beginning to water.

"We will be as soon as we find our daughter" Hook kissed her again before taking her hand and heading out of the room.

* * *

"We really gonna do this?" Regina asked again with hesitation.

"It's our only option, my dear" Hook sighed. He took Regina's hand and walked into Mr. Gold's shop. The little bell chimed causing Gold to look up and raise a brow at the odd couple he saw before him.

"Well what do I owe the pleasure of my bitter enemies to pay me a visit?" Gold sarcastically asked.

"It's not a social call Gold. We need your help" Regina swallowed hard at her own words.

"My help? This must be serious. And why would I help you?"

"Because you have something that can help us find our daughter" Hook blurted out. He figured Gold would need to know some details in order for him to help and pulling it off like a band-aid seemed easier than dancing around the truth. Gold was surprised at what he heard and was silent for a moment — trying to figure to what to say.

"a daughter? — you two…" Gold still surprised.

"Trust me I was surprised myself" Hook smirked sheepishly.

"Look, we need to use the globe to find her. We aren't sure where she is and it's our only option. Since you spent centuries looking for your son — we figured you might be the only one to understand where we are coming from" Regina explained, wondering if any love the Imp has left might soften his heart enough to give them pity.

Gold nodded his head slightly and waved his hand. In a purple puff the globe appeared on the glass counter-top.

"That was easy" Hook mentioned.

"Too easy" Regina raised a brow. "What's your price?"

"As you said, dearie — I'm the only one who understands. Think of it as a baby gift" Gold explained with some sincerity. Regina could tell by the tone of Gold's voice that he meant it, even if it bothered him. Regina walked to the globe and pricked her finger, sending a drop of blood on it to swirl around.

As they waited for the globe to reveal the answer they seek, Gold broke the silence with slight hesitation.

"So — how old is she?"

"6 or so" Regina answered, not looking at him.

"Fun age" Gold smiled slightly to the Queen. Regina looked to him and lightly smiled back.

"Where is that?" Hook's question broke Regina and Gold's slight moment of peace as they looked at the globe.

"Well she is here in Storybrooke" Gold commented.

"Ya, but where?" Hook asked again.

"The orphanage" Regina answered sadly.

* * *

Regina and Hook entered the Orphanage that was run by the Nuns of Storybrooke. Regina had her arms across her chest, feeling a bit uneasy and confused on why their daughter landed here.

"I don't get it. I made sure she had a good life. Why is she in an Orphanage?!" Regina exclaimed. Before Hook even tried to answer her, they were interrupted.

"May I help you, your Majesty?"

"Mother Superior — yes. We are looking for a little girl" Regina answered quickly.

"A child? Why would you be seeking…"

"Because she is our daughter" Hook interrupted.

"I don't know much. Possibly dark hair, blue eyes? She should be around 6 years old" Regina had vague answers but its all she had to find her daughter. Mother Superior was still silent of shock to hear that the Captain and the Queen shared a child together — as a Nun, she just shook her head and didn't ask questions.

"Follow me" she said before walking down the hall. Regina and Hook followed, surprised on how too easy it was to find their daughter. She took them outside to the playground where lots of children were running and laughing.

"Not many children follow that description" Mother Superior said.

Regina stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her — she knew instantly that was her daughter…

_Regina began to scream as she tried to push one more time._

_"You are doing great, my Queen!" the midwife said. Regina breathed heavily and in tears as she began to push her baby out. The chamber filled with cries of the baby girl Regina just delivered. Regina began to cry at the sound knowing she did it. "She's beautiful"_

_"She?"_

_"Yes, your majesty, it's a daughter" The midwife said, wrapping up the tiny bundle in a blanket before handing her to the Queen. Regina took her daughter in her arms and continued to cry on just how beautiful she was._

_"Look at you. I never imagined…" Regina choked on her own words. She couldn't finish the sentence because she knew deep down this was going to be the only time she will ever see her child._

_"Are you sure you want to do this?" The midwife questioned, seeing just how hard it was for Regina._

_"I have no choice, Elezabeth. My daughter will suffer if she stays with me. I can't bare to give her this life when I know she can have a far better one without me" Regina cried. The midwife nodded sadly and looked down. "Give us a moment"_

_Elezabeth left the room to give the Queen and her daughter a moment. Regina held her child close to her and shushed some quiet sounds to calm the baby._

_"You are so beautiful. I don't think I have ever loved anything as much as I love you right now" Regina paused for a moment feeling the lumps in her throat. "But you need to know I am doing this for your own good. You will have a better life without me in it. I'm sure it's something you will understand once your older — if you ever find out who I truly am. I love you so much — and know that if your father were here — he loves you too" Regina sniffled before pressing a kiss on her daughter's forehead. "Elezabeth!"_

_The midwife came back in and walked straight to Regina's side. "Yes, your majesty?"_

_Regina slowly handed her daughter off to the midwife and looked up at her with sad eyes. "They are good people, yes?"_

_"Yes, my Queen. And they understand what they have to do" Elezabeth answered. Regina just nodded and kissed her daughter one more time before turning away. The midwife took that as a sign and walked out with the child. Regina turned on her side and sobbed into her pillow, trying to muffle the sounds of her heart breaking._

"Her name is Aslyn" is what broke Regina out of her flashback.

"My god — she's beautiful" Hook said with love, noticing the little girl instantly as well. She had dark curls and light skin — spitting imagine of the woman he had falling in love with. Her eyes mirrored his own — color of the ocean that brighten the sky.

"What happened to her parents?" Regina asked, not taking her eyes off her daughter. Mother Superior sighed and looked down, not answering the Queen. Regina looked to her with confusion and anger. "I asked you a question — What happened to them?"

Mother Superior thought of how to break the news to them but knew no matter how she worded it, it will still hurt. "They were killed — by you" she looked to Regina. Regina's eyes widen before looking back at her daughter, who was playing innocently on the swings.

"I killed them…"

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**Sorry its short, the next one is short too but the 4th chapter isn't as short and I will try and keep it as long as possible. Let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3: Sadness

**Was hoping for more reviews but I will post this for those who have been waiting. Hopefully I can get more reviews before I post chapter 4. Enjoy!**

* * *

Regina had rushed inside and down the hallway. She placed her hand on her chest; almost as if her heart was going to be ripped out of her. Her emotions were mixed with anger, sadness, guilt — she couldn't believe she made her own daughter an orphan. She gave her away to protect her from her evil, but only showed it to her with full force. Hook had run after Regina and noticed how distraught she was. He placed his good hand on her shoulder and made her turn to look at him.

"Regina, don't…"

"I killed them" Regina interrupted. "I made our daughter live in a hell hole because my revenge on Snow White was far more greater"

"You didn't know" Hook tried to get close to her but Regina stepped back.

"I ruin lives — Even my own children. How can I expect them to love me when all I do is cause pain?" Regina let out tears as her realization came to light. Hook stepped closer to her again but did not let her resist him. He placed his hand on her cheek and with his touch you could feel her sense comfort. She closed her eyes and sighed before looking at the man she has known to love again.

"I know you now, Regina. That woman that destroyed lives — you don't have to be her anymore. You can change; for your children. And you can be the best mother I know you are" Hook lightly smiled. Regina just shook her head in disagreement and moved her head away from her.

"You can't trust me. No one can"

And before Hook could say anything, Regina ran passed him and left the Orphanage. Hook stood there and sighed, upset he couldn't help her but knew he had something far more important to handle. How was he gonna tell this little girl that he was really her father. He decided to go back and found Mother Superior inside by the door to the playground.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how to…"

"Don't worry about it. I'll deal with Regina later — right now, I want to know more about my daughter." Hook asked.

"She is a very bright little girl — Shy, timid — likes to be alone" Mother Superior explained. Hook just nodded.

"When did they die?"

"She was quite young. Barely a year i believe. She and 5 other children escaped one of Regina's raids by hiding in the woods. Then they were placed in the nearby orphanage where they have remained since — you know…"

"So since she has no family — I mean legally I am the girl's father so…"

"I know what your implying and yes, being the girl's father does give you the right to take her now but…"

"but what?" Hook asked confused and slightly annoyed.

"but I think you should give her time. This child only knows one thing — that her parents were murdered by the _Evil Queen_. Knowing that the Evil Queen and Captain are truly her parents may hurt her in some way if you expose that too soon" Mother Superior explained. Hook knew she was right but he longed to just take his little girl in his arms and hold her. He looked out the window and saw Aslyn sitting alone by the swings, playing in the sand.

"What do you suggest I do?" Hooked asked, still looking at Aslyn.

"I think being her friend is a good start. We have these programs where adults will come and take the child out from time to time just so they can get away from here for a moment. They are called sponsors." Mother Superior explained. Hook looked to her again and slightly shifted his body as he felt the nervousness come.

"So you want me to sponsor her? Get to know her?"

"Exactly. Let her get to know you. Go at her pace. As soon as things seem well than we can tell her who you are — but for now, I think its best."

"That's all I want is what's best for her" Hook slightly smiled.

"Good. Than we can go see her if you like?" Mother Superior opened the door and stepped out. Hook hesitated but took in a deep breathe and walked out with her. They approached the little girl who was still sitting alone. Mother Superior walked in front of Hook and knelt down in front of her. "Aslyn, I want you to meet…"

"Killian" Hook interrupted. He didn't think it would be best for the child to know his true identify, even though his lack of hand probably gave it away.

"Killian. He wants to talk to you, if that's ok?" Mother Superior asked her.

Aslyn just shrugged her shoulders and continued to make her sand castle. Mother Superior stood up and let Hook take over. Hook then sat at the end of the walkway where it met the soft sand that Aslyn was playing with.

"Hello Aslyn" he said with a lump in this throat.

"Hi" Aslyn still not keeping her eye off her castle. Hook knew this was a bit tougher than her thought and knew he should just play along.

"What are you making there?" He asked.

"A castle"

"I love Castles" Hook said with charm which made the girl chuckle a bit. "You know I use to know someone in a castle back in our land"

"Really?" Aslyn seemed curious and looked at him finally.

"Yes. It belonged to a Queen and uh..."

"You mean the Evil Queen?" Aslyn seemed surprised. "She is evil!" Aslyn said repetitive.

"Why is she evil?" Hook asked curiously.

"She kills people. She even cursed us. At least that's what I was told. I never met her. She scares me" Aslyn spoke truth in her words of such a young child. Hook nodded and yet sighed. Speaking of Regina wouldn't be the best time right now. He had to talk to her and get to know her without Regina at this moment.

"Well we don't need to speak of the Evil Queen today. What else do you like Aslyn?"

"I love horses. The sea..." Aslyn trailed off looking down at her castle again.

"I love boats" Hook commented.

"I love boats too!" Aslyn stood up quickly and caught his eye, startling him a bit. "Our orphanage back at home use to be by the sea and how I loved to watch them!"

Hook smiled to his child with such love for her. _'She definitely got that from me'_ he thought. "Well if you want, we can go on my ship and sail sometime. Would you like that?"

"Oh yes!" Aslyn than ran up to Mother Superior. "Mother, could we go on a boat ride today?" She asked excited.

"I don't see why not" Mother Superior smiled at the child.

"Let's go!" Aslyn ran into the orphanage and into her room. Hook stood up and wiped himself off before walking in with Mother Superior.

"Well that went well" Hook chuckled.

"Indeed. Like I said, just give her time and space. If you want it bad enough, you will be a family" She than placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you" Hook slightly smiled. Their moment was interrupted by the light tug of his jacket by Aslyn.

"I'm ready!" Aslyn explained and showed him her pink bag with purple flowers on them.

"Oh my, and what do we have there" Hook knelt down before her and looked into her bag.

"Just Mr. Bugsy, Miss Lillian and Chunk" Aslyn explained her friends.

"Chunk?" Hook was surprised.

"Yes — he loves to eat" Aslyn smiled. "Now let's go!" She grabbed his hand and pulled with all her might. Hook stood up quickly and pretended he was being dragged by the little girl. They walked out of the Orphanage and quickly walked to the harbor which was close by.

From a distance, Regina hid behind a tree and watched this unfold. She smiled for a moment at Hook being able to love on his daughter; but her smile faded quickly and a tear fell knowing just how much pain she caused both of them. She shook her head and walked away.

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**Sorry it's short but the next chapter should be a bit longer. Please Review! thanks!**


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